The Jay Cutler news conference translator

November 30, 2011|RedEye

Jay Cutler spoke about a wide range of topics Wednesday, but what did his words really mean? Let's translate them.


ABOUT REHAB, JAY SAID …

"It could be I'm done for the season. I just have to be smart about it and realize that there is a long-term picture here."

WHAT IT MEANS

"Yeah, I'm totally done. Toast. Stick a fork in me. Even if we make it to the Super Bowl, I'm Audi 5000."

ABOUT HIS RETURN, JAY SAID ...

"I don't want to put a real number on it because I just don't know."

WHAT IT MEANS

"See ya next year. That's for the Cubs fans out there."

ABOUT HIS THUMB, JAY SAID …

"I'm going to lose a little bit of flexibility in my thumb. Dr. Viola was very cautious in where he was pinning that, and where he was putting those screws at to make sure that I could throw the football without any complications."

WHAT IT MEANS

"My thumb is now going to be just a little bit more useful than my big toe. But the biggest pain is going through security at O'Hare. All that metal sure complicates the check-in process. I've gotten to know TSA agents VERY well."

ABOUT THE INTERCEPTION, JAY SAID ...

"I was pissed at Johnny about the pick and stuff, so coming off the sideline I didn't really know (about the injury). I was more worried about talking to him--in a calm manner."

WHAT IT MEANS

"We were this close to losing two Bears for the whole season. Johnny's a lucky man."

ABOUT CALEB HANIE, JAY SAID ...

"We just have to be really careful of what kind of situations we put him in. We don't really know what Caleb's comfortable with. Caleb doesn't know what he's comfortable with because he hasn't run a lot of these plays, hasn't done a lot of the stuff in the offense in a game situation, in high-pressure situations."

WHAT IT MEANS

"No comment."


ABOUT KRISTIN CAVALLARI TWEETING THEIR ENGAGEMENT, JAY SAID

"Just heard about that. I'm joking don't write that. No, there's no date for that."

WHAT IT MEANS

"I SAID I WAS JOKING! Sorry, Kristin."

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