Thanks for nothing, football gods

November 24, 2011|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

This is the one weekend of the year I like to pause and give thanks for what we have in our lives, but that's not happening this year.

It's not happening because the football gods have dealt me another blow.

The second in my lifetime, in fact. Mid-1980s. The Bears were phenomenal. One hitch.

You know it. The QB. Couldn't get it straight. McMahon, Tomczak, Fuller, Flutie, Harbaugh, Landry, Payton. (Yes, him! Look it up! 1984.)

And now this. Again. Playoff team, everything seems to be clicking, defense and special teams kicking butt and Jay Cutler hurt … the thumb. (It's always something. One year it was McMahon's kidney. His kidney!)

So now it's Caleb Hanie. Could be bad, could be good … bottom line … nobody knows!

I caught myself dreaming about Kyle Orton. And don't lie. So did you. I've never prayed so hard for an average QB in my life.

We can't even get him, though. No, it's Josh McCown, thank you.

Fun fact No. 1: Most recently with the Hartford Colonials. That's of the UFL. Wow.

In the meantime, Kansas City gets Kyle Orton. It cost the Chiefs extra picks for the neck beard.

Fun fact No. 2: McCown has played for: Arizona, Detroit, Oakland, Miami, Carolina and San Francisco. Yep—you got it. That's every city Southwest flies to. Lucky guy.

Fun fact No. 3: His last name reminds one of Cade McNown. Bears QB from … oh never mind. There's nothing fun about that at all.

Finally, McCown went to Sam Houston State. I loved Sam Houston in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. I really did.

So we'll make do. And Oakland this week is a loss. I had it as a win but no more.

Nope. Nothing to be thankful for here.

I am thankful, however, to be going the Northwestern game Saturday, to see Chicago's Big Ten team lose to Michigan State. I'll be tailgating—and hugely disappointed if I make it into the stadium. That's how I roll.

I don't care. But here's one straight up: Thanks to everyone who reads and gives me their opinions and "expert" analysis. I've stolen from all of you, and no one knows it.

Thank you.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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