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Home-court invasions

First Kenny Williams. Next, other sports stars' houses are burglarized

November 22, 2011|RedEye

It's one of the weirdest sports stories we've heard in a while: Homeless man breaks into White Sox general manager Kenny Williams' townhouse, drinks beer, eats pizza, defrosts a lobster and uses the computer before leaving dressed in Williams' clothes and wearing his 2005 White Sox World Series ring.

Wayne L. Field III was arrested Monday and charged with residential burglary in connection the break-in that occurred over the weekend.

Enough with that, now on to the fun stuff. RedEye wondered what might happen if other Chicago sports stars' homes were broken into. Here's what we imagined.

Joakim Noah's house

The suspect drinks Courvoisier from a pimp cup, wears Noah's seersucker suit around the house and scrawls "I love Cleveland" on the mirror before escaping with the Bulls star's "stash." Or 'stache.

Patrick Sharp's house

This burglary goes off course when the Blackhawk returns home and finds the suspect locked in a gaze with a photo of the so-handsome-it-hurts Sharp. It's like looking into Medusa's eyes.

Jay Cutler's house

The Bears quarterback reports a massive loss of salmon-covered Bonobos.

Carlos Boozer's house

This burglary is over before it starts when the criminal mastermind trips over a gym bag on the floor of the entryway.

A Cubs player's house

Nothing is taken. The burglar was looking for a World Series ring. (Thank you, @theSoxman72.)

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