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Hannah's bigger than Montana?!

November 16, 2011|By Katie Killacky, For RedEye

What a twit. I mean tweet!

On Tuesday, Miley Cyrus fired back at the haters who were calling her fat on Twitter. She defended her womanly curves by saying she loved her body and posted a picture of Marilyn Monroe with the caption: "Proof that you can be adored by thousands of men even when your thighs touch."

I'm proud of Lil Miss Thang. Not because I necessarily agree with her retort, but for an 18-year-old who's had some pretty un-Disneylike slip-ups, the girl really tried to set an example for her 3.5 million Twitter followers.

Miley is not the first celebrity to be called fat by jealous teenagers and, sadly, hateful adults. She's also not the first celebrity to use what I like to call the "I'm Gonna Pretend I'm Not Insecure" defense.

It's 3 basic steps. 1) Post a picture of Marilyn or some other bodacious celeb and make a point of how curvaceous women can still be beautiful; 2) Exclaim how much you love your curves; and 3) State it's much sexier to have the body of a woman instead of a girl.

I find holes in this defense. 1) In actuality, Marilyn was about a size 4, maybe an 8 at her heaviest. Now if you want to caption the picture, "Proof that you can be adored by thousands of men even when you're a thrice-divorced, insecure, needy drug abuser," I might be able to get on board with you. 2) Curves and fat are two different things. Curves are when you're born with a lovely hourglass figure and your name is Natasha. Fat is when you eat too much. And your name is Brenda. 3) So ... isn't this essentially putting down those girls who are born with naturally slim figures and flat chests? Isn't that a little counter-productive to your message? The one that says we should all love our bodies?

Instead of Marilyn, why not post a picture of Tina Fey? Both Tina and I realize she's not a sex symbol. We're tight like that. But because she's a smart, classy, funny lady, guys adore her. Proof that you can be adored by thousands of men even when they like what you have to say so they're not even looking at your thighs. Miley, stop referring to yourself as curvy and voluptuous. You're a 34B. You sound dumb. And instead of knocking girls who are thin, why not just say, "It's much sexier to have the body of a woman who's going to eat whatever the hell she wants this holiday season!"

A month from now, People will have on its cover "Miley's Dramatic Weight Loss!" And in the interview she'll talk about how she had gotten a little lazy but she started eating right and working out and has never felt better in her new body. Which will probably be a size 0.

People really need to wise up. Miley is not fat. She's pregnant.

KATIE KILLACKY IS A REDEYE SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR, AND SHE DOESN'T REALLY THINK MILEY IS PREGNANT..

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