"What part of this photo would make anyone want to see this movie?"
* (out of four)
Feel free, Al Pacino, to express lighthearted disbelief that you’ve won only one Oscar. If there’s a wrong place for you to do that, however, it’s in a movie where you play yourself and tickle Adam Sandler in drag.
In the latest Sandler vehicle intended to confirm that audiences still find onscreen farts hilarious—speaking only for myself, I’m going with no—the comic reprises his preferred role as “Guy who looks down on everyone else.”
Sandler plays both Jack and his identical twin sister, Jill--an irritating, Barry Manilow-loving buffoon who’s ignorant about the Internet and sweats so profusely her soaked outline remains in the bed for days. She’s also never tried Mexican food, and you can probably guess where her first taste lands her. If not: Put your arm to your mouth and blow. (If you find the resulting noise hysterical, you should automatically purchase a ticket to “Jack and Jill.”)
The plot, as if it matters, involves Jill’s extended vacation from the Bronx to L.A., where Jack tries to get her to leave. That’s it, besides Jack trying to hire Pacino for a commercial and the once-great actor sort of trying to convince us that Jill possesses heart, not just the intelligence of a hammer and the manners of a camel. Jokes at the expense of homeless people and minorities ensue.
Mostly, “Jack and Jill” exists to mock Jill. Yet the movie—which, of course, has zilch in common with and does not even mention the classic nursery rhyme—still registers as less angry and vile than “Just Go With It” because of its feeble, PG-rated material.
As Jack’s wife, Katie Holmes plays a role that could have been filled by any woman--or a mannequin with a tape recorder inside it.
Sandler, on the other hand, takes broad comedy to new levels of indifference. The guy, who managed to squeeze a luxury cruise into his movie/vacation, will likely one day sneeze out a movie inspired by his skills as a cinematic con artist. He will name the character “Poop Masterson,” and it will make $100 million.
Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Fridays at 7:30 a.m. on WCIU, the U