Sup Chi-Town? It's ya boy Scotty Brolohan again. It's been mad long since u heard from urs truly but class is crazy hard. And it turns out, unlike algebrah, court dates are not optional. Weak, bro.
The other day, me and my bro B-Mac were quaddin' it up after getting our lift on and he was all like, "Bro, the Hawks are thick." And I was all, "They don't even play until like April, bro." And B was all, "They started like a month abro." And then I was like, "Pass the Natty Light" because I wanted some Natty Light. And then B-Mac was like, "Yeah, u haven't been peepin' that Patty Kane?" And I was all, "The Kanerrang?" And B-Mac was like, "Yeah bro, the Kanerrang is swaggin' out."
Since I first started peepin' puck Game 1 of that hot Stanley Cup finals action, Kaner was my boy. First, u know he's wearing 88 because 80085 won't fit on his jersey. That was my lax number, bro! So I dropped like two hundo on a sick green St. Patty's jersey. Secondly, we have the same taste with the ladies since every chick I've dated has also somehow been with him.
But bro, Keezy has been straight killin' it this year. Last year he was all like, "Yo, I'm a boss, what up?" He got that Stanley Cup so the only cups he was interested in was DD. Get it? LOL. But then Kaner's wrist got all messed up this summer. Every bro goes through a dry spell and ends up needing wrist surgery. Been there, bro. But PK manned up. And he's been brahsome.
This year he's been all like, "What up Marion Brossa, peep this puck, get that net." Or he just does some redic spin and boom! Straight Chelsea Daggin', bro. Kane always had crazy brotential, but now we are getting a taste of it. And it's sweet like DMB's "Crash."
And u know what the dankest part is? He's going to turn his swag on all season. That's inKane in the memKane. LOL. That song is thick!
Scotty Brolohan is a RedEye special contributor.