In case of NBA lockout, watch this

November 01, 2011|By Ernest Wilkins | RedEye

Reality is starting to kick in, folks. As much as we may not like to admit it, it's looking like we're not gonna see any pro hoops soon.

Not sure about the rest of you, but one of the cornerstones of my winter is cuddling up on my couch and watching whatever NBA game is on, even if it's a snoozefest like Spurs-Warriors or something. So now we're left to scramble for quality winter entertainment. I've done some research into sports that I think can be quality basketball substitutes.

>> Pro wrestling: I dare you to laugh. Have you ever SEEN pro wrestling? Oh hey, this tall dude is gonna fight this other tall dude. ... Hmm, where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, THE NBA. There's always something interesting happening and you can always expect to see something really athletic taking place.

Just substitute Blake Griffin dunks for powerbombs through tables. Miss the atmosphere of the Bulls' intros at the United Center? Type "cm punk money in the bank entrance" into YouTube. A: It takes place in Chicago and B: if you don't get hyped, you don't have a soul.

>> Women's volleyball: It's readily available on channels such as the Big Ten Network. Why is it so interesting? Oh the thrill of the bump, set, spike teamwork! Um, I'll stop lying. I watch it for the shorts. There needs to be a Tumblr called " yeah, girls in volleyball shorts!" That goes double for yoga pants, by the way.

>> Rugby: Like wrestling, it's packed with action and huge dudes beating the ever-loving crap out of each other. Sometimes people forget how physically brutal pro basketball can be (Kevin McHale, Charles Oakley or Psycho Tyler Hansbrough, anyone?) and there are plenty of aggressive fouls and other cool things.

Also, it's exactly like pro hoops in that random d-bags think they can just walk out there and light it up. I tried playing rugby with my buddy's sister once. I still walk with a slight limp to this day.

So yeah, these aren't optimum solutions, but if we're going to be denied NBA hoops, we'll need something to do this winter. You know, other than boozing.

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